Only Fools and Horses A Losing Streak Full Script

Only Fools And Horses Series 2 Episode 3 A Losing Streak Full Script

This is the full script for Only Fools And Horses Series 2 Episode 3 A Losing Streak.

A Losing Streak Full Script

INT. THE TROTTERS’ LOUNGE. DAY.

The table is littered with marmalade jars, tea cups, a
half empty bowl of soggy cornflakes and all the usual
signs of a finished breakfast. The TV’s are on,
showing the BBC and ITV test cards. In the middle of
the room is an enamel bath tub which is a quarter full
with a yellow liquid. Rodney is seated on the floor
and reacting to the vile smelling liquid. He is
filling small perfume bottles from the bath tub and
placing them in small cardboard boxes bearing the
name: ‘Yves Saint Dior’ Parfum de Toilette’ ‘Paris.’
Rodney hands the boxes to Grandad who, while keeping a
close eye on the TVs, stamps the boxes with a tabbing
machine and then places them in an old suitcase.

Del
(On telephone)
… When did I nick your
speaker? Oh that speaker.
Yeah, well I only borrowed it
for the party didn’t I? I gave
it back to you the next day.
Well, alright, the next week.
Anyway, you’re not honestly
trying to tell me that you’ve
only got one speaker? What
just one!! Blimey, what a way
to run a railway station.
Anyway, look, never mind about
your rotten speaker. Now
listen, this is a once in a
lifetime offer. How would you
like to buy genuine mink coat
for 50 quid? No, no, it’s not
bent. No, the reason why it’s
so cheap is because it’s
Ethiopian mink…Ethiopian.
Yes, I’ve got a contact in
Babylon. Ah, well, the only
difference between Ethiopian
and ordinary mink is the
colour…Yeah, that’s right.
Well it’s sort of a…er…
(To Rodney)
What colour would you call
them fur coats in the garage?

Rodney
Tabby.

Del
(On phone)
They’re sort of tab…They’re
a sort of mottled grey with
delicate black highlights…
I’ll pop one round to you…
You ain’t got a dog have you?
Winston, I’m only gonna leave
it with you, you ain’t got to
feed it or nothing! Yeah,
yeah, alright pal – fair
enough. I’ll se you around.

Del moves away from the phone in deep thought, obviously
worried. He sees Grandad and Rodney are observing him
and changes instantly into bright, happy-go-lucky Del
Boy.

Del
Oh well, win some lose some –
nothing ventures, nothing
gained – it’s, well, boeuf à
la mode, as the French say.

Rodney
What’s wrong Del?

Del
Wrong? No, nothing’s wrong.
Things have never been better
Rodney. This time next year
we’ll be millionaires! Right,
here put that parfum de
toilette in the back of the
van, and we’ll se if we can
make a killing down the old
market, alright?

Rodney
Right-ho.

Rodney exits.

Del
That’s it, off you go.

As soon as Rodney leaves, Del becomes a worried man again.
He checks his wallet. Grandad is watching him. He has
seen these signs many times in his life.

Grandad
D’you play cards again last
night?

He who dares wins

Del
Eh? Yeah, yeah, that’s right
Grandad you know me, eh? He
who dares wins.

Grandad
How d’you get on?

Del
I lost. I even had Mum’s lucky
rabbit foot with me. Brought
me about as much luck as it
did the rabbit.

Grandad
You wanna ease up with this
gambling Del Boy. I’ve seen
too many good men finish up in
the gutter chasing ‘easy’
money.

Del
It’s that Boycie innit? You
know Boycie, the second-hand
car dealer from Lewisham. I
have never seen anyone so
lucky at cards Grandad, it’s
all for big money an’ all.

Grandad
He ain’t using a marked deck
is he?

Del
What, no, we’re close friends,
anyway, he knows I’d break
his arms.

Grandad
Well I were in a card school
once where the cards was
marked. I lost a fortune.

Del
What, you knew they were
marked?

Grandad
Oh yeah, I marked ’em…I was
never much good at cards.

Del
Stone me! Never mind.

Grandad
Here, this Boycie fella, does
he like spinning the old coin
Del, you know double or quits?

Del
Well yeah, him, he likes any
form of gambling, don’t he?

Grandad
Oh well here Del, you try him
with this. It’s a double-
headed coin.

Del
A what – double-headed coin? I
thought you only saw these in
them old British movies.

Grandad
Scotch bloke gave me this
during the war. I remember it
like it was yesterday. His
hands was trembling and his
voice was just a whisper. He
said ‘I want you to have
something to remember me by,
Trotter. Take me lucky coin.’
Then he…he went!

Del
What – he died?!

Grandad
Deserted. Mind you, you
couldn’t blame him the way
them Germans was carrying on.
Someone was gonna get hurt.

INT. THE NAG’S HEAD. DAY

Stood at the bar are the despondent figures of Del and
Rodney. They each have a half-finished half of lager in
front of them. The suitcase is leaning against the bar
near their feet.

Del
I don’t believe it! I just
don’t believe it! I mean I
thought we’d have got a right
result with that scent. You
know I thought they’d be
queuing – camping out on the
pavement like they do at an
‘arrods sale. Instead of
that…

Del makes a sharp pull of a chain gesture.

Del (cont’d)
How many did we sell in the
end?

Rodney
What, altogether? None!

Del
As many as that was it. Hang
on, but I saw you sell a
bottle.

Rodney
She fetched it back.

Del
Why?

Rodney
She smelt it. She said the
last time she smelt an odour
like that was when the cat
sanctuary got bombed during
the war.

Trigger enters.

Trigger
Alright Dave? How’s yer luck
Del Boy?

Del
Don’t ask Trigger.

Trigger
Still bad eh? I’ll have a pint
of mild please, love.
(To Del)
What you on?

Del
No, I’m alright Trigger.

Trigger
(To Rodney)
I’ve never seen such bad poker
hands as he’s been getting. He
lost 150 nicker in cold blood
last night.

Rodney
A 150 pounds!!

Del
Nothing to worry about! I’m
just on this losing streak
that’s all. It’ll be over
soon, it’ll soon pass.

Rodney
You don’t honestly believe all
that rubbish about winning and
losing streaks do you? You
make your own luck in this
world, son, there’s no such
thing as a losing streak.

Del
You give my arse an ‘eadache
sometimes Rodney. You don’t
know anything about cards, do
you? You and your little mates
are still playing strip-snap,
ain’t yer?

You are giving my arse a headache
(To Trigger)
They’re thinking of inviting
some girls one day.

Trigger
You see Dave, a losing streak
is like joining the Moonies.
Easy to get into but a bark to
get out of!

Rodney
Just how much have you lost
Del?

Del
Got your ‘ankie handy? I
didn’t want to tell you, I
didn’t want you worrying, I
couldn’t stand all that
dermatitis all over again!
We’ve got 70 quid and that’s
all that’s left of your –
profits.

Rodney
Well at least we can put the
central heating back on and get
something to eat.

Del
Eh? You don’t think I’m
wasting this on food and
warmth do you? This is my
stake money for tonight’s game.

Rodney
You’re playing again tonight??

Del
Yeah, tonight 8.30 at our
place!

Boycie enters.

Boycie
Trigger. Del.

Trigger and Del
Hello Boycie.

Boycie
Hello Rodney.

Rodney
Boycie.

Boycie
Oh dear what’s up with you,
bird trouble? You look as
though you’ve had a promise
from a liar…How’s yer luck,
Del?

Del
Oh changing, changing, outed
two-and-a-half hundred quid’s
worth of French scent this
morning.

Boycie
Oh good, your in the chair,
then are you?

Del
Eh? Oh yeah, yeah, Trigger?

Trigger
I’m alright.

Del
Julie could I have a double
cognac please.

Del looks Boycie defiantly in the face.

Del (cont’d)
And I’ll have a large, I say,
a large chivas Regal with
coke!

Rodney
(Equally defiant)
Yeah and I’ll have a double
Southern Comfort with American
dry!

Del
That’s ‘alf a lager for Rodney.
(To Barmaid)
And why don’t you have one
yourself you know and put the
change in the Third World
relief bottle will you!
(To Boycie)
So how’s your luck pal?

Boycie
Well, not too bad to be fair
to you. I’ve sold one today,
mind you, a 1980 Simca Estate.
Only made 850 out of it
though. I mean what’s 850
these days? Hardly heats me
swimming pool for a week.

Rodney
Grim innit?

Boycie
Oh yeah, absolutely. I said to
Marlene – the other day, you
remember Marlene, Del.

Del
Oh yeah, yes, all the lads
remember Marlene.

Boycie
Yeah, well I said to her…I
said to Marlene, I said, if it
wasn’t for the fact that I was
making o much out of Del and
the boys, I’d have to do
something really drastic –
like only having smoked salmon
twice a week.

Del
You’ve got more front than
Brighton ain’t yer? Listen
Boycie, I’m telling you that
my luck’s changing. I’m on a
wining streak. Right! No I am,
straight up, now listen,
alright then, I’ll tell you
what, tell you what, look,
here’s 20 quid right that says
the next customer in buy’s a
pint of something!

Boycie
You’re on! 20 here says the
next customer orders a short.

Rodney
You’re pushing your luck a
bit, ain’t you?

Del
No, no, I’m not Rodney, I’ve
just seen the next customer
who’s coming in past the
window.

The pub door opens and a large Irish navvy enters.

Julie
Yes, love?

Paddy
I’ll have a dry Martini and a
slim line tonic.

Boycie
(Taking the money
from Del)
It pains me to take it Del,
you know it really pains me…
Well cheers, 8.30 round your
place is it?

Boycie moves towards the door.

Rodney
Hold it Del. What are you
doing??

Trigger
Yeah leave him, Del.

Del
I’m not gonna hit him you
fool. Listen I’ve got a double
-headed coin I’m gonna stitch
him up, where is he? Boycie.
Here, just a minute, just
before you go, I tell you
what. You’re a gambling man,
that 20 quid I’ll toss you for
it – double or nothing!

Boycie
Go on then.

Del
Right?

Boycie
Heads.

Del
What??

Boycie
Heads. You know what Del, I
hope this winning streak of
yours holds out till tonight.

Boycie exits, laughing.

Del
That’s it, that is it, I’ve
just done me stake money for
tonight’s game, ain’t I?

Rodney
Good!

Del
What do you mean ‘good’??

Rodney
Look, you’re on the verge of
losing everything we’ve ever
worked for in a rotten bloody
poker game! What do you expect
me to say? ‘Good old Del Boy
– he knows a short cut to the
workhouse!’

Del
Alright Rodney, alright, don’t
worry. If the worst comes to
the worst you know we can
always do ourselves in can’t
we, eh? Me, you and Grandad
can go and jump in the River
Thames.

Trigger
Be quicker to drink a drop of
it!

Del
Looks as though you’ve already
started.

Rodney
Del, why don’t you say to
Boycie tonight’s off? Say
you’ve caught something!

Del
Look, let me explain something
to you Rodney. Look beneath
all this finery – there lies –
a berk! Now that surprises
you, doesn’t it!

Beneath all this finery, there lies a berk.

Rodney
No.

Del
Look, you don’t remember the
day that Dad left home do you?
Course you don’t, you was too
young. Well Mum she’d, well,
she’d only just, you know,
left us, and you were just a
little nipper with a pink
patch over yer national health
specs, you know to help that
turn in your eye, Grandad, he
was sitting in his armchair
waiting for colour television
to be invented, anyway I came
home that evening and found
that Dad had gone, taken all
his things and gone. He, he
took everything Rodney. He
took my savings, me three
quarter length suede, he even
opened your little piggy
bank…The only thing that he
didn’t get was the money Mum
had left me and you that was
‘cos I’d hid it too well see,
anyway he’d left us with
nothing Rodney, not even the
price of a meal. D’you know
what that day was? It was my
16th birthday. He even took
my cake!

Rodney
What a lousy b…

Del
Oi, oi, oi, that’ yer father
you’re talking about!

Rodney
Well I’m sorry Del, but that’s
how I feel about him!

Del
Well it’s alright, well, it’s
understandable, it’s under-
standable…But you see, from
that day I swore that I would
never run away from anything
in my life, I mean, you know
if a wild lion were to come in
here now my old April’d be
pouting like a good ‘un, but
I’d stand me ground. I would,
‘cos it’s geezers like me
that, that capture German
machine gun nests! And that’s
why I’ve got to play the game
tonight, Rodney, you see,
because I can’t run away!
Running away only wears your
shoes out…D’you understand
me?

Rodney
Yeah, yeah, I understand you
Del! And I’ll tell you
something else, we’re gonna
beat Boycie tonight!

Del
That’s the spirit my son,
that’s it. We’ll take him to
the cleaners!

Rodney
Ey, they’ll call our place Che
Sketchleys by the time we’ve
finished with him. Right, well
I’ll see you later, I’m gonna
get you omen stake money!

Del
Where from?

Rodney
Oi, when the chips are down I
can be just as sharp as you.
Now, remember that party we
had at the flat last month?
Yeah there was plenty of
booze, right?

Del
Not gonna organize a disco are
you?

Rodney
Eh no. I’m gonna take the
empties back for you!

Rodney exits.

Del
It’s amazing ain’t it Trigger.
I’ve lived with him all these
years and I thought I knew
him. You know, and then some-
thing like this happens – some
simple gesture – and then you
suddenly realise what a 100
per cent, 24 carat plonker he
really is!

INT. EVENING. THE TROTTERS’ LOUNGE.

The table is now covered with a green cloth in readiness
for the game. Del in a three-piece suit paces the room.
He flashes angry glances at Grandad, who is unmoved and
continues watching the TV’s.

Del
Well?

Grandad
Well what?

Del
Are you going to lend me that
money or not?

Grandad
I ain’t gonna lend you
nothing! If I had a million
pounds I wouldn’t give you a
penny of it.

Del
Come on Grandad, just give me
a straight yes or no!

Grandad
Why should I give you money to
lose? And don’t give me that
old fanny about a losing
streak.

Del
It’s true! Today I put 20 quid
on a McAlpines navvy who was
on a diet! Now what are the
odds on you picking the only
genuine weightwatcher in
London?

Grandad
What makes you think I’ve got
any money anyhow? I’m an old-
aged pensioner Del Boy.

Del
(Mimics)
‘I’m an old-aged pensioner,
Del.’ You crafty old sod! You
had a 25-1 winner at Kempton
Park on Monday. I know ‘cos I
gave you the fiver! And
Rodney picked up your
winnings, 125 quid.

Grandad
Oh that?

Del
Oh yes, oh that! Come on
Grandad lend us a hundred
pounds! I’ll pay you back
double! Now be fair, I’ve
always been straight with you
haven’t I? Remember last
month when you said you was
feeling the cold weather in
bed, what did I do for you?

Grandad
You bought me an electric
blanket.

Del
Right. Give me that hundred
pounds and I’ll put a plug on
it for you.

Grandad
Alright. You pay me back
double though!

Del
Yeah, don’t worry, alright,
alright.

Grandad unbuttons his shirt. He is wearing a money belt.
He tries to hide it from Del.

Del (cont’d)
‘Ere, d’you always wear that
money belt?

Grandad
Well it stops me getting a
chill on me belly.

Del
That is most probably why your
kidney stones didn’t show up
on that X-ray!

Grandad hands Del a bunch of notes.

Grandad
There you go –

Del
Thank you Grandad.

Grandad
And don’t lose it!

Del
No, alright – alright, I won’t.
Cheers.

Rodney enters the room.

Rodney
Trigger and Boycie are here!

Del
Alright, alright, keep calm
Rodney, keep calm. Right, now
just er, just play it cool,
know what I mean? Come on,
just er, nice and cool, nice
and cool…What you doing?

Trigger and Boycie enter.

Del (cont’d)
Hello Trigger.

Trigger
Del, Dave, Grandad…

Del
Alright then Boycie.

Boycie
Good evening, you don’t see
many places like this these
days Del Boy.

Del
Oh thanks. I designed it my-
self!

Boycie
Yeah I thought as much! As a
matter of fact I saw a place
rather like this on a tele-
vision programme recently.

Grandad
Dallas?

Boycie
No not Dallas – definitely not
Dallas. No, it was a charity
appeal – had the wife in tears
you know. Still Marlene’s
easily touched.

Trigger
Yeah, as Del said earlier all
the lads remember Marlene.

Boycie
Yeah, it was one of them
programmes that…Well are we
gonna stand here rabbiting all
night or are we gonna play
cards?

Del
No, we’re gonna play cards
Boycie. Sit yourself down over
there, come on Trigger, That’s
it. Right, that’ it Rodney, get
them beers down. Right.

The three sit at the table with Del opposite Boycie.

Del (cont’)
Five card draw – usual limit
yeah?

Boycie
That’s alright.

Del
Right good, right, I’ve got a
new pack of cards.

Boycie
Yes I brought a new deck as
well.

Del
Oh. Well we’ll use mine save
opening yours, alright.

Boycie
No we’ll use mine.

Del
No, no, let’s use mine!

Rodney
Del’s the host!

Boycie
And I’m the guest! So we’ll
use mine!

Trigger
Why don’t you spin for it?

Del
Oh yeah yeah, that’s a good
idea, Trigger. Alright with
you Boycie?

Boycie
Yeah, go on then.

Del
Okay then here you go.

Boycie
Heads.

Del
Eh?

Boycie
I said ‘heads’.

Del
But you called heads in the
pub!

Boycie
And I’m calling heads again!

Del
We’ll use your pack!

Trigger takes a small bundle of crumpled notes from his
pocket and lays them on the table. Del lays his
thousand pounds on the table. Boycie opens his
briefcase and places three thick wads on the table.

Boycie
Is that all you’ve got Del?

Del places a few £10 notes on the table

Del

Er no, no, no, I’ve got more
than that you know, Rodney’s
got the rest for me.

Rodney
Oh, yeah, Del, there’s the
four pounds and thirty-seven
pence from the empties.

Del closes his eyes in abject embarrassment.

INT. NIGHT. THE TROTTERS’ LOUNGE.

It is almost the end of the evening and the atmosphere
is now one of a smoke-filled gambling den. Jackets have
been removed and hung on the backs of chairs, ties are
loosened and waistcoats unbuttoned. Ashtrays are filled
with cigar butts and dog-ends. Del and Boycie smoke fat
cigars, Trigger a tipped cigarette. Rodney and Grandad
puff nervously on roll-yer-owns. All three players are
studying their hands.

Del
Down to you Trigger.

Trigger
Too heavy for me Del Boy. I’m
calling it a night.

Boycie
Looks like it’s down to you
and me then Del Boy. Right,
your 30, and I’ll raise you 30
…It’s gonna cot you 30 quid
to stay in, Del.

Del
I ain’t got 30 quid left
Boycie.

Boycie
Well what can I say?

Del
Alright, hang about, hang
about. Go on, 30 quid and I’ll
see you.

Boycie
I have a running flush. Four,
five, six, seven, eight of
hearts.

Del
Jeeze and I’ve got three tens!
Cor, stone me.

Boycie
Not good enough then, is it
Del Boy?
(Scooping the
kitty in)
Well that seems to be the end
of the evening. Shame, really
I was just getting into me
stride…Well I’ll bid you
adieu then.

Del
Hang about, Boycie, no, hang
about. I ain’t finished yet.

Del goes over to the telephone.

Grandad
(Quietly to
Trigger)
He knows more card tricks than
Paul Daniels don’t he!

Trigger
D’you reckon he’s been
switching ’em?

Grandad
Course he’s switching ’em!
He’s done you two up like a
couple of kippers.

Del pulls a wad of money from the phone receiver.

Rodney
Del, oy where d’you get that
from??

Del
Buzzby sent it down the line
didn’t he?

Rodney
How come for the last fort-
night we’ve been off Queer
Street and suddenly all them
notes materialize?

Del
This is the money that Mum
left you and me. She said it
was only to be used in a life-
or-death situation.

Rodney
Oh, now come on Del, this
ain’t a life-or-death
situation, it’s a bloody game
of poker!

Del
No it isn’t Rodney. This is
not a game – this is a duel!
Alright Boycie I’ve got 500
quid here that says that this
game ain’t over yet.

Boycie
Nice one, Del Boy, I like yer
style. I tell you what let’s
make this a bit exciting,
shall we? No limit!

Del
That suits me Boycie. That
suits me right down to the
ground…Alright dealer takes
one…Go on your bid.

Boycie
A century.

Trigger
100 notes? You’re coming it a
bit ain’t yer Boycie?

Boycie
This is a no limit game
between me and Del Boy, so
keep yer nose out Trigger!

Del
Don’t worry, don’t worry
Trigger. He’s bluffing,
alright here you are, there’s
your 100 and I’ll raise you
100.

Boycie
Your 100 – and I’ll raise you
100.

Del
You’re bluffing!

Boycie
Only one way to find out ain’t
there Del Boy.

Del
Oh he’s bluffing – he’s
definitely bluffing, I can
tell by his eyes, he’s
bluffing.

Rodney
It’s gonna cost you another
100 to find out Del.

Del
Trust me Rodney trust me, he’s
definitely bluffing! I’ve got
him by the short n’ curlies!
Your 100 – and I’ll raise you
200. Want to see me Boycie?

Boycie
Oh no, no, no, no, Del Boy
that’s your 200 – and I’ll
raise you a grand!

Trigger
Knock him out, Del.

Boycie
It’s gonna cost you a thousand
notes to see my cards Del.

Del
I’m skint Boycie!

Boycie
Well you shouldn’t play big
boys’ games then should you?

Grandad
(To Boycie)
Oh play the game son. That’s
the money their mum left ’em.
That’s all they’ve got!

Boycie
Well, Del, do something or get
off the pot.

Del
Yeah, yeah, alright.
(Removing jewellery)
All my jewellery, right and
um…

Del looks to Grandad who indicates he has nothing.

Del
(Appealing)
Trigger!

Trigger
I’m boracic mate.

Del
(Turning to
Rodney)
Ro…Forget it you.

Trigger
Here are you can have me car.

Trigger reluctantly hands over the keys.

Del
Cheers Trigger you’re a real
pal. Right, so that’s my
jewellery right and Trigger’s
car – it’s a good ‘un!

Boycie
You must be joking, I sold it
to him!

Del
Right you’ll get your money
back won’t you, so that’s my
jewellery, Trigger’s car, the
stereo and the tellies!

Boycie
It still doesn’t come to a
thousand notes Del.

Del
Alright, alright, tell you
what I’ll do, it’s my
jewellery, Trigger’s car, the
stereo, the tellies and
everything in the flat, right,
the cooker, the fridge, the
deep-freeze, the beds, and
wardrobes, our clothes…

Rodney
Now what’s our bloody game
Del?

Del
It’s alright, trust me Rodney,
he’s bluffing. Have faith in
me.

Boycie
Alright Del Boy, seeing as we
are friends, I’ll accept all
of that as a bid of a thousand
pounds.

Del
What have you got?

Boycie
I’ve got Kings.

Del
How many?

Del playing cards from Only Fools and Horses

Boycie lays them one at a time on the table.

Boycie
Un – deux – trois – quatre.

Del
(Stunned)
Four!!

Boycie
I didn’t know you were good at
Maths Del.

Del
I thought you were bluffing!

Boycie
Oh no, no, no, no, no, Del
Boy. Not on your Nelly.

Del
I thought he was bluffing!

Rodney
You berk!

Trigger
What did you have Del?

Del
Two pairs.

Grandad
Two pairs? You went all that
way on two rotten pairs?

Del
I thought he was bluffing?

Grandad
Well he was bloody well was
wasn’t he?

Grandad exits to the kitchen in disgust.

Trigger
Couldn’t give us a lift home
could you Dave?

Rodney
Yeah, I could as it goes, I’ll
drop you of on our ay to the
river.

Del’s head is bowed in defeat.

Boycie
Well Del I’ll send the boys
round in the morning for the
stuff. It really pains me Del,
it really does pain me.

Boycie is about to scoop up the winnings when Del’s hand
shoots out and grabs his wrist.

Del
What are you doing?

Boycie
What d’you mean what am I
doing, I’m picking up the
winnings Del, that’s what I’m
doing!

Del
Oh, no, no, no, me old mate,
no, no, not on your Nelly! You
know the rules of the game.
All cards must be shown before
the winnings are collected.

Trigger
Leave it out will you Del,
you’ve only got two pairs.

Boycie
No, no, Trigger. It’s alright,
let Del have his little
moment, come on Del let’s see
your two pairs.

Del
(Laying two cards
onto the table)
I’ve got one pair of aces.

Boycie
(Bored)
Yeah.

Del
And I’ve got…
(Laying another two
cards onto the table)
…another pair of aces.

Boycie is stunned as he realizes he has been beaten. His
cigar falls from his open mouth. Del smiles sweetly at
him. Rodney, Grandad and Trigger stare disbelievingly
at the four aces on the table.

Boycie
That’s four aces!!

Del
I didn’t know that you were
good at Maths either Boycie.

I didn't know you were good at maths Del Boy

Trigger
Four aces! I ain’t never seen
it before!

Rodney
Four aces! Four bloody aces!

Rodney turns to shout Grandad in from the kitchen, not
realizing he is stood beside him.

Rodney (cont’d)
Grandad! Sorry! He’s got four
aces, SEE!

Grandad
I thought Del Boy might have
something up his sleeve!

Del reacts to Grandad’s comment, indicating that is exactly
where the other two aces came from.

Rodney
Oh look at all that lovely
money!

Del
I told you I could do it,
didn’t I, eh?

Rodney
Well done.

There is general celebration, back-slapping, etc.

Del
Oi Rodney now careful what is
your game?

Boycie
Well done Del.

Del
Thanks.

Boycie
Nicely played.
(Hissing)
Where d’you get those our
bloody aces from?

Del
Same place you got them Kings!
I knew you were cheating
Boycie.

Boycie
Oh yeah, how?

Del
‘Cos that wasn’t the hand I
dealt you!

Because that wasn't the hand that I dealt you. - Only Fools and Horses quotes

Boycie moves towards the door.

Rodney
Del, let’s take him again.

Del
No, no I don’t want to push my
luck.

Rodney
Oh come on you’re on a winning
streak!

Del
Eh yeah, yeah you’re right. Oi
Boycie. Hang about, hand
about, listen I always like to
see a man get a chance to get
some of his money back. Right,
tell you what I’m going to do,
look, there’s 200 quid. I’ll
spin you for it.

Del produces the double-headed coin.

Boycie
No way Del. I’ve already beaten
you twice with the coin. By the
law of averages you’ve got to
win it.

Del
Alright, I’ll make it fair.
Rodney’ll call for me.

Rodney
Yeah, yeah, I’ll call.

Boycie
200? You’re on.

Del
Alright Rodders, call it.

Rodney spins the coin.

Rodney
Tails.

Del
What?